I don't know how...

How to stop over-eating, stuffing my face with delicious food. I don't know how to not take that second helping, piling my plate as high as the first helping. I have this never ending hunger, like I'm not full until all the food dishes are completely empty.

Help me, I need to help myself. I.don't.know.how.to.stop.

I should probably take myself to the dr and see if they can help me. It's making that ever lasting appointment. Calling and actually doing it is what freaks me out.

I also found out that, my one and only decent family memeber on my dads side, passed away in september and no one fucking told me. NO ONE!!! I am so hurt my this. I found out on Dec 21st. Just 4 short days before christmas. Yea, right, you didn't have my number.. I know aunt kept it in her little address/phone number book.
I mean I know there's not a lot I can do about it now. What's done is done, but it still stings you know.

Then, yesterday, my dear friend got diagnosed with cervical and ovarian cancer. Sigh. She's only 31. I hope it hasn't spread but I don't know.

Well there's my most random disorganized post of all...

It's not nice..

To be getting a cold the week of christmas. This is lame. I woke up this morning with a tight feeling in my chest, known as, the beginning of Mr. Chest cold. I hate this. It really blows, but what can I do except take some pills and hope that I don't get everyone else sick in the house.

Zicam here I come. I better just pick up some dayquil and nyquil while I am at it.
Have I already mentioned that I hate this? Because I really hate this.

OK enough whining.

The "natural vs. unnatural" debate

This debate really burns my ass. I feel strongly about it, how can people be so close minded about the way a child is conceived?

I, for one, fall into the unnatural catagory. Some idiots say that because I had to use infertility drugs to conceive my children, that they are fake, unnatural children. What the fuck is wrong with the world? My children are as real as yours!!! I just needed help to conceive them. My children did not come out of a test tube, they aren't aliens, or robots. It's not my fault my body doesn't ovulate on it's own. You think I wanted to go through life knowing that my body is lame.

Everyone gets dealt a shitty hand in life, some people it's money issues, some people it's disease, for us, it's infertility. I do know that I have children, I consider myself blessed everyday. I love my boys with all my heart. There are some out there that will never have a child, and for that I am sad. It seems like the stupidest people have it the easiest. The ones who should not be able to reproduce, reproduce like bunnies.

I will leave it at that.

H-O-L-I-D-A-Y-S

H- Holyshit. how much money did you say I just spent?.. We all know how this feels. Don't lie! I know you do. Holidays creep up, and suddenly you're at your store of choice shopping and you get to the register, only to find out in the end that, holyfuck, are you sure you rung everything up correctly? You want me to pay how much for how many jellybeans?

O- Over eating. I do it, you do it, everyone does it because all the cool kids are doing it. The lovely 15-20lbs you pack on during the holidays. It's all the goodies, goodies at the devils reincarnate. Cookies, cheesecake, pie, mmmm pie. I wonder why I can't lose weight. There my friends is the anwser.

L- Love. Love, peace and Turkey grease. The holidays are suppose to be about family, getting together, enjoying each others company. It definitely has turned into a merchandisers dream. I still love my family, we still get together and have a great time.

I- Ice. Along with the holidays comes winter, and along with winter comes ices. On the roads, on your car windshield. It comes from freezing fog that causes 2 inches of ice of the roads. YUCK! Whenever it is icy here in good old Oregon, the whole state has a big giant outbreak of idiot-itis and you'd think we were all 15 year old learning how to drive. Oh hell, what am I kidding. It's all the california transplants that have never driven on ice in their lives.

D- Daylight savings. I HATE DLST. It gets dark at 5o'lock and light at 6am. Oye I am half tempted to move to the part of Arizona where DLS does not exist. I think they should terminate this stupid time change and just leave people be. Honk if you agree with me??!!?!?!

A- Appreciation. I apprecaite my family, my friends, and a whole plethera of other things. Isn't the holidays all about being thankful and appreciative of what you have? It definitely gets blown out of proportion. What can we expect with our spoiled society though? This is what people have made of what was suppose to be a time to be thankful of what you have and not of what you want. Ever heard that saying, "wish in one hand, and shit in the other, see which one fills up first?" I've heard this many a times in my life. BE THANKFUL OF WHAT YOU HAVE PEOPLE, BECAUSE YOU COULD HAVE NOTHING!

Y- Years end. The holidays mean it's almost time to begin a new year. Start fresh, reflect on the lasts years accomplishments, or maybe failures. It's time to learn from our mistakes. It's time to make the New Years Resolutions that most of us won't resolve. I don't think I have ever followed thru on a NYR. I suppose to I should make a realistic goal. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

S- Sacrafice. Go sacrafice your unborn child! Not really, but we should be compromising and sacraficing. Say you want to go on a trip. Promise not to hit the starbucks drive thru for 6 months and see where that gets you? The average drink is about 4 for a venti. If you multiply that by 30 than by 6. That equals $720. That's a pretty decent start to an awesome vacay. Just imagine that most of us are doing this as couples. That's over $1400.00 in 6 months. Hello awesome summer vacation?


So, that's my take on the holidays. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a great start to the new year!

Embarrassment

Most days, I am embarrassed by the way my life is unfolding. It is horrible, and it does get to the point where I don't want to tell people where I am living, in fear of judgement. I should not care about what people think of me, but I do. I care way to much. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. We are doing what is best for us. To make sure that a roof stays over our head and that we aren't living on the streets. I won't lie, money is tight. We are getting by, some months, just barely, but we're there.

nook update

I cannot wait for the Nook software update to be released next month! If you're a Nook user, you know how slow the page turns are. This is one of the many great enhancements in store for us. Woot! That and being able to organized your library.

Boo for having to wait until late November for the release, but yay for updates.

They are also updating the Nook for Andriod app so that it syncs your last page read to your Nook device. No more struggling to find the page you last read. Woooot!

I have personally never used the NfA app. I might have to try it once it updates. That's the beauty of the Nook though. It is a portable device meant to travel with you. It fits perfectly in my hand bag. I love taking it on roadtrips. Maybe i will do a comparison of the actual device vs the app. Until next time...

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Halloween

It's that time of year! Halloween is looming right around the corner, and this year I am so excited. Finally, after years of wanting to go. I am finally going to the Monster Ball. Can't.wait.so.excited.

My costume is fantastic, I am a sexy Pirate Wench! The whole family is doing a theme. Wyatt, josh and I are pirates and Caleb is going to be our treasure chest! His is the only homemade costume. I am about 1/4 of the way done with it. Woot. I got the box covered in woodgrain contact paper. Now I just have to get the colored rocks to make gemstones and a way to hold the box up on Caleb.
I will be posting pics. I can't wait. wooty woot!

Constant racing

Don't you hate those nights where your mind just wont turn off. There's no light at the end of the tunnel for relaxation, at least not enough to fall asleep. I know I do. I actually loathe nights like that. The next day you don't wake up refreshed (then again, do I ever?)and walk around like a zombie just risen from the grave.

We might as well be dead to the world. Just heaping bags of skin and bones. Concentration is almost impossible. Even thinking about thinking is impossible. Somehow, we all know we'll make it through the day. The only thing keeping us going is knowing that, at the end of the day, we get to climb into a warm, comfy bed and sleep it away.

This is why I am fortunate for Rx sleeping pills. I wouldn't hardly ever sleep if it weren't for them. They are fab-u-lous. Seriously, i am not talking about otc tylenol pm's, these folks, are the real deal. I don't wake up groggy, i mean ya i am still tired, but not zombie groggy, dead to the world type stuff.

Well, these fantabulous pills are kicking in. Good night world!

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I've been sick

Payt (my nephew) came over with a cold, and he got Wyatt sick. That started the whole downhill spiral of all of us getting this nasty ass cold. Poor Caleb has an ear infection, a cold and a nice size cut on his forehead, and he's getting molars. Poor kid just can't catch a break. He seems to be doing better now.

I've got a nasty chest cold. I know it's not bronchitus or pnuemonia, It's just the typical bad cold that I always get. It's starts in my head then moves to my chest. Always happens this way. It sucks, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it, except take what meds I can and rest. Which, I must say, is nearly impossible with a 4yo and a 1yo. I was so tired yesterday, that I kept on dozing off on the couch. Whilst the boys were watching yo gabba gabba, or some other form of a nickjr cartoon.
I will feel better soon. I must.

For Susan

Up to heaven,
With angels wings,
I can hear you sing,
The joy, love, and pain your precious life brings.
Forever remembered,
Forever loved,
I know you're watching from above.
In my mind,
In my heart,
I know we'll never be apart.
Up to heaven,
With angels wings,
I will forever hear you sing.

I'd love to know why motivation comes only after a horrible event. I haven't wrote a poem since I was a teenager. Why now? Why only after a wonderful person has a tragic event occur in their lives does it rear it's ugly head?

My heart aches, but I know that Katie Jane is welcoming her little brother, Matthew Finley, with open arms. She will love and protect him.

Dearest Susan. I don't want to sound like a creeper, but you really do hold a special place in my heart. I know we don't know a lot about each other, or talk a whole lot. You are an amazing, strong woman. I will forever admire you for that. Following you through your struggles has made me realize that I am blessed. Blessed to have my boys. I will not take forgranted that I have them in my life. I hope, somehow, I can bring a little peace into your life. You were dealt a shitty hand and it's just not fair. Even though little Katie Jane and Matthew were here far too short a time, they are loved. They know you (and all of botb) love them dearly and they are lucky to have such an amazing woman for their mother.

Just know you're in my thoughts. I can't say I understand what you're going through, because that would be a lie. Yes, I've miscarried, but that doesn't mean I understand what it's like to lose a child.

You'll forever hold a special place in my heart, and I am lucky to 'know' such an amazing person.

Xoxo,
Lindsey

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A story...

Sometimes, dreams can be creepy. Especially the ones that come true. For months before my dad passed, I had dreams about him passing. I will now tell you about this such thing.

They were short dreams, just of how he had died and where it happened. He would be sitting in a friends front lawn, drinking, having a good time. Then he'd passout and never wake up. These dream always creeped me out, but not as much as they did when my mom came over on the fateful morning of October 3rd, 1998.

I knew there was something wrong, at the time, I wasn't living at home. I was living with some friends of the family. I thought, at the time, that was a better place for me. Boy was I wrong. That's a whole nother post though. Early that morning, mom came over, she was upset. She talked to the woman first, then she came in and talked to me. She told me that my great aunt Fay called her, and told her my dad had died. I remember feeling a bit shocked. I cried a couple tears, but nothing as much as you think you would when one of your parents dies. I don't believe I have ever really grieved for the loss of my dad. We didn't have much of a relationship. He lived in Florida, I lived in Nevada and we honestly didn't talk a whole lot. He was too involved in his own life to be responsible, and take care of his kids.

The night before he died, he was partying with some friends, from what I know he was drinking, have a good old time, that good old dad, the alcoholic, always had. It got late and he was already asleep in a lawn chair in his friends front yard. They left him there to sleep. Well, his friends woke up the next morning and thought he was still asleep. No one would have thought he was dead, until finally someone went outside to wake him up. Turns out, he died in his sleep. I can imagine it would have been a peaceful way to go. I know that he's in a better place, that he's happy. That he doesn't suffer from his gout anymore. He's not in and out of the hospital.

Life goes on, I realize that dying is part of nature. It happens to everyone. It was just a really crappy time to make his appointment with the grim reaper. I was almost 15 years old when he died. I am almost 27 now. I do miss him, but I am glad I don't have to watch him slowly killing himself. I, without a doubt know, that if my dad was still alive he'd still be an alcoholic. It consumed his every being. Nothing else mattered at that time to him. I hope you're resting in piece dad, and that you're enjoying your time, whereever you are.

Today, we leave!

We're going up to East Lake for 5 nights. I so cannot wait to leave, be in the wilderness with nothing but our tent and boat. It's such a relaxing place. It's so quiet. East Lake has a speed limit on the water, its like 10-15mph, so we don't get all the loud speed boats and crazies. No seadoos, jetskis or skiers.

I can't wait to go fishing, I love fishing. Hopefully I can catch a big giant fish. I plan to take a shitton of pictures while we are up there. woohoo. we leave this afternoon and won't be home until sometime on monday. So, my dearest blog. I bid you goodbye for 5 whole days.

So yeah...

I realize, I suck at blogging. I have so many good ideas, but I can't seem to write them out. I am too critical of myself. I hate that I am that way, but I don't know how to stop. I can write out this long post, decide that it sucks, and the whole thing gets thrown out the window, flushed down the toilet kinda stuff. Another reason is because it doesn't really feel like anyone reads this blog, like it's a meaningless waste of my time. I have 2 followers, one of which I have no clue who they are. Hey, it's someone that is potentially reading my blog though, right?

We are going camping for 5 nights. I am super excited. We haven't been camping all summer. Now that it's finally fall, here we go. Kind of backwards don't you think?

Yippee, East Lake, here we come. Better watch out!!!

Sigh

Let me preface by saying that I am writing this post from my phone. It is almost 1am, sitting here in bed because measley natured decided to call upon me, and I simply cannot go back to sleep. Any lack of proper punctuation is blamed on my phone, as I can't, for the life of me figure out how to make a damned paragraph lol.
Well, I lied, I can. I just can't figure out how to make the little arrow doohickeys needed to put a break in the text for a paragraph. Anywho, Caleb has the stomach flu. Poor lil bugger, I hate seeing him throw up. After dinner tonight, not even 10 minutes after he'd ate, the lovely vomit-fall (you know, instead of waterfall) ensued. So now he's restricted to bananas, applesauce, and toast until his little tummer tums can handle something a little heavier. I feel so horrible for him, he's only 14 months old and doesn't really understand why this shit keeps coming out at both ends. Literally. So, now I am either going to try and go back to sleep or attempt to dive into Voyager. goodnight blogger. I might log on from my laptop in the morning and put paragraphs into this post.

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Last Saturday

It was Joshua and mine anniversary. We've been married for 6 years. Craziness. Somedays it feels like it has only been two at the most. Others it feels like it has been 10.

We went and say The Expendables on Saturday afternoon. It was actually really good. Much better than I was anticipating. The beginning is kind of sketchy acting wise, but it does definitely get better as the movie goes on, some parts of it seem really low budget, but that still doesn't change my opinion of it. I'd definitely watch it again.

Then, afterwards, we went to the Olive Garden for dinner. Yummo. I had a peach sangria and the unlimited pasta bowl. Mmmmmmm. It was good. The first portion they give you is humungous and the second is a smaller bowl. I maybe a bite of the 2nd portion and the rest of it came home. I ate it for lunch on sunday. mmmmm. Let me just say that the creamy parmesean portobello mixed with alredo sauce is Ah-mazing. Soo soo good. I would get it again. I had it on top of fettucini noodles and penne noodles.

Then J, let me get a new phone for our anniversary. The Motorola Charm. I really like it so far. :) Well I must go for now. Love, Peace, and chicken Grease

6 Years ago

Josh and I got married. August 28th, 2004. It was really great, it has been really great. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, but what marriage doesn't?
We have two beautiful boys, they are the light of our lives. I love all 3 of them so so so much.
Josh and I are going to watch the Expendables and going to the Olive Garden, where I will commence operation unlimited pasta bowl lol. It will be great fun.

I'm getting closer

Well, so far in Dragonfly in Amber, Jamie and all his men from Lallybroch have won the battle. Claire and he are now just getting their men back into tip top shape. I believe I have about 300 pages left until I am finished with this book, I may take a break before I read Voyager. I'm not quite sure yet.

I am awaiting the epic ugly cry at the end of this book. So many people have told me to make sure there's a box of kleenex nearby. I will take that into consideration. Now, whether or not I need to use it. We shall see.

Very happy=me that this book seems to be picking up. For a while there. I was wondering if I'd be able to finish it. It's taking a me a minimum of 4-5 weeks just to finish one of these books. I guess almost a thousand pages can do that to you. I will keep everyone updated on my progress. ta ta for now!

Outlander

I'm reading this series. It's been going ok. I am kind of weary of the second book, Dragonfly in Amber, because it is dragging so.freaking.bad.

I really liked the first book. The tale of how Claire and Jamie came to be. DG is a really great writer. I am excited to keep reading the series. I am almost 600 pages into DIA. Soon it should be getting better. It already has because Jamie and Claire returned to Lallybroch. Now Jamie is going back to help Charles Stuart, when in the beginning, they were plotting against him because he was trying to make an uprising that would kill most of the clans in the Scotish Highlands. I guess I am a little confused as to why they are doing this.

I know it has taken me a long time to get this far into the book. I will not stop reading it because I need to know what happens. Why in the beginning of the book, Claire is back in her own time. With a daughter. I know she came back pregnant from her disappearance. More to come, when I figure out what's going on, I will update this again.

My Wyatt

My baby boy, over the last 4 years, you have brought such joy into my heart. It may have started out rough, with you in the NICU and mom having to spend way to long sitting in a hospital bed, but you are so worth all the heartache and trouble. SO WORTH IT! You may be a pain in the ass sometimes. You keep me on my feet, and you're a little rebelloius boy, but that doesn't change the way I love you. I know that you're healthy, and most definitely here in our lives. I love you Wyatt, I love seeing how you interact with Caleb(baby brud), he loves you so much ,and you can tell he looks up to you!

Now the time is upon us, when you really start growing up. I can't believe you are already 4! Time flies.. I swear you should only be turning 2. Even though you would be a gigantic 2 year old, but you're already a gigantic 4 year old. I hyperventalate every time I think about you going to kindergarten next year. I can't believe you'll be starting school. It's crazy.

I love you bud, you will always be my baby, no matter if you're 4 or 40.

Love, Mom.

I seriously hate having friends, that say they are your friends, but never give you the time of day. I don't have any real friends around here. I hate that the friends that I love the most live thousands of miles away from me. Nikki and Tina, you are like my sisters and I love both of you dearly. I appreciate that both of you listen, and are there if I need to talk. I know you send me ehugs and eshoulders to cry on.

I know I whine about not having friends a lot. I mean A LOT. if you were in my shoes. I think you'd understand.

In the heart of all hearts

My dear friends, even though we may live thousands of miles apart, I am thankful to have all of you in my life. It's all of you, that have kept me going, that I love dearly. I cherish all of you. You make my heart swell to 10 million times it's normal size.
Some of you I have merely talked to on the phone, some of you I have known since high school, but have recently reconnected (thank you Facebook!).
Thank you, each and every one of you for being there through thick and thin. For being able to relate to me, for being there for basically anything and everything.
Truly, I love you, I wish we could be closer. Just to be around each other. I'd love to share ups and downs. Celebrate happy times and comfort sad times. To be around each other in general.
I truly appreciate you. In my hearts of all hearts you are all forever my friends, my sisters. I love you!

Relief

When I lost my job, I lost insurance for all 4 of us. At that point I was just worried about insuring the boys. Wyatt has inhalers and script allergy meds he needs. The inhalers are over $100 a month and his allergy meds are a good $60 a month. Wyatt was getting denied from private insurances left and right because of his asthma, all of them stating that it would cost too much to treat his asthma. Well thank sweet baby jesus, we qualified for Healthy Kids. Which is a state funded medical program. Now I can get his medicines and take Caleb in for his well baby check ups without having a gigantic dr bill.

If you have ever lost insurance, you know how fucking expensive private insurance is, and how picky they are. This whole pre existing conditions stuff that Obama is putting into place doesn't become effective until 2014. So, that helps absolutely no one right now. Not for the next 3.5 years.

Weekend in Portland

So, you know when you go cheap, you really get cheap. We stayed at a Motel 6, because it was cheap. None of the rooms has fridges or micros, or even an alarm clock. The rooms felt like you were sleeping in a sardine can. You know what? We still had fun though. That's all that matter right? RIGHT?

We took the boys to the zoo, they really enjoyed it. My favorite part was the elephants, there was a smaller, either female or baby elephant, that the trainer was having do a little show for us. So Cute! It would bow, play basketball, turn in circles and balance on two feet. Besides everything being majorly over priced it was a great time.

Later that evening we all went down to the pool. I don't even know how long we were in there. Caleb is such a water baby. He loves his little floatie and playing in the pool. He did actually fall asleep for about 20 minutes in his floatie. Wanna talk about cute?? Wyatt isn't much of a pool kid right now. He would get in, but we was content playing with his truck sitting on the steps of the pool.

We are now planning a weekend to seaside in mid september. So much fun!

I'm bored

I'm sitting here, trying to keep myself occupied. Josh is playing Red Dead Redemption, Wyatt is sleeping, and Caleb is off in his own little world. Jibber jabbing to the lady bug on his play pen.

We are taking the boys to the zoo next weekend. We made a little trip out of it because the zoo is 3 hours away from us. So Josh, Wyatt, Caleb, Jenn, Payt, Chase, and I are all going up for the weekend. We are also taking the boys to OMSI. It will be great fun.

This summer is going good. Even though I am not working, my mental well being is so much better. I am a much happier me. Which in the end effects everyone. I am a much happier wife and mom. Which I know josh and the boys truly appreciate. I was getting to the point where I was super moody. Pissed all the time, and tired. Just tired of everytthing. I have now realized, work was the culprit of it all. That hell hole was the reason why I was bitchy and irritable. The reason why I was depressed beyond belief. I am so glad to be done with that place. My life is much better without them.

It's a hot one folks

Today, the boys and I are spending the day in the cool, air conditioned house. I am nursing a twisted ankle. It's suppose to be 100 degrees out today. Wow. Summer definitely came a little late this year, but that's perfectly fine with me. It's not snowing, or cold at all. Yippee!

busy busy busy

This is what I've been for the last week. I swear I've hardly had a minute to sit down and relax. I have been moving stuff and organizing and all this kind of junk. We got a storage unit to clear out the garage. It is a complete frigging mess. I don't even know where to start. While I am going through and moving these boxes, I am going to try to find my book of poems. I will be starting up a new blog with the poems I wrote as a teenager. It should be fun. I just have to find all of them lol. In a box somewhere in the garage is where they lie.

My dearest Caleb

One year ago, the 19th of June, you came into my life. I loved you while you were still in my tummy, but the minute you came out, that loved instensified 10 fold.

This last year has been amazing with you in my life, you're such a good little boy. I so content and happy. You are really laid back and you sleep really really well, which mom and dad both appreciate. I love your snuggles and loves. Even though I don't get them that often anymore, because you're a mobile baby now. You are into everything you can possibily get your hands on. Which is ok but gets you into some mighty heaps sometimes.

Along with starting to walk, there comes owies. You got your first goose egg, bruise and fat lip all in one day. Just a few days ago. My fearless little mister, you were trying to take steps away from the coffee table and your little wobbly legs gave out and you fell and hit your head on the coffee table. Poor little guy. But just know that we all love you. We always will.

Life, as you might have it

Life, it's an interesting thing, to say the least. Here, there and everywhere. I feel like that right about now. I have been sick for the last almost 3 weeks. First, I came down with a nasty ass cold, now I am getting over coxsackievirus. OMG does that ever suck. It's like strep, intensified by about a billion.

Life is crazy, but you gotta love it. My baby boy turned one yesterday. It was a fun time. We had a blast. He loved his cake. It was ice cream cake. om nomnomnom.

In the fall, I am thinking about taking a class. I want to take a writing class. I have so many things I would love to write about but actually getting it down on paper is my problem. A lot of the time, I feel I can't use proper punctuation and grammar. I am a smart girl, it's just been a long time since I was in the school. So as of right now, that is my plan. A writing class. There are 2 that I am interested in, but I think I will only take on one at a time, just to make sure that I don't overwhelm myself. I know I can do that easily. I will keep everyone updated on my decision.

Coast bound

We are going to take our first family vacation, with just us. I have been doing research all evening on hotels. I think we may have found one but I don't know yet. I don't think I'm quite finished looking yet.

We are going to Seaside, Oregon for the weekend. It's fun, they have all kinds of nifty shops and stuff to do. Their boardwalk is amazing and there is candy shops everywhere. It's kinda nuts. They have bumper cars and these little bikes things you can rent. It's a really fun place.

Update on me

I've been feeling better lately. Well mentally. I have a stupid cold right now. So physically, I'm not so hot lol.

Mentally, I am doing a lot better. Since I lost my job. You think that I would be a little more depressed, but the stress level is amazingly lower. that place was affecting me a lot more than I thought it was. I am sleeping a lot better at night. Of course, with the aide of sleeping pills, but still the anxiety is down a lot more than it was before. Yippee for me.

Update on the allergist appointment

So, if you read my last entry, you'll know that I took Wyatt to see an allergy specialist. It was a good appointment and I am happy with how it went.

Wyatt is however, the proud new owner of an Epi Pen. He is severly allergic to peanuts. If for any reason he ingests a peanut or anything that contains peanut protein or has been manufactured with peanuts, I get to so graciously stab him in the meaty part of his thigh with said epi pen and rush to ther er. So if you see him. Please don't give him peanuts or really any kind of tree nuts lol

The Allergist

Wyatt is allergic to peanut butter, sad I know. He's really missing out on every kids favorite snack. PB&J sandwiches. He just gets boring old jelly sandwiches. I really do hope that he grows out of this allergy. Today, we are going to the allergist, he's getting scratch tests done to see what else he is allergic too. Even though we just lost our insurance, his health is important and we've been waiting for this appointment for a while now. Food allergies can be extremely scary, I don't want him to have a really bad reaction to something and warrant an ER trip.

So, I will update the blog later today after we know what is going on.

I am unemployed

As of yesterday, May 26, 2010, I no longer have a job. Things were going really bad at work, I have been dealing with major depression since April, and it was affecting my job performance.  I'm sorry T-Mobile, that I can't forget that I am depressed when I walk through those glass doors. How could you expect me to? Oh well. Shit happens and life goes on. I am taking a couple months off to work on my mental well being before I start looking for a job again. J is OK with that.

J has been great through this whole ordeal actually. Well really my whole family has. He told me that he knows it was best for me to leave. Work is what was keeping me from getting better. In a way, I'm seriously relieved that I don't have to deal with the bullshit anymore. Its an extremely stressful environment and I just couldn't mentally handle it anymore. So there we have it. I am officially unemployed.

I've been reading

If you don't know I love to read, you don't know me well at all. Reading is my favorite hobby/activity. When I am having a bad day or can't get something off my mind I pick up a book and forget about the world for a little while.

So far in 2010, I have read a few books. I am going to make a goal of reading 50+ books this year.

Here's my list:
Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris
1. Dead Until Dark
2. Living Dead in Dallas
3. Club Dead
4. Dead to the World
5. Dead as a Doornail
6. Definitely Dead
7. All Together Dead
8. From Dead to Worse
9. Dead and Gone
10. Dead in the Family

Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward
1. Dark Lover
2. Lover Eternal
3. Love Awakened
4. Lover Revealed
5. Lover Unbound
6. Lover Enshrined
7. Lover Avenged
8. Lover Mine

So, there's 18 of my 50 books. I just started reading the Outlander series. Which I like so far. I have heard quite a few peopl mention that this series is really hard to get into at first, but honestly, I am not having a problem getting into it. I am excited. There are 7 books total in this series. So once this one is finished, I will be up to 25 books. It will only take about a month to finish them. They are large books. So it may take a little longer.

Ever since I got my Nook. I have been reading like crazy, well I guess no more than usual. But still. I am enjoying it.

I changed

I changed my blog, because people couldn't leave comments. There was no reasoning behind this. I however, have heard that it doesn't work if you do not use a gmail account for your sign in. Which I wasn't so we'll see if this changes anything.

today, I plan on making bbq pulled pork for dinner. I just need to go get some keiser rolls and stuff to make tater salad. Nom nom.

So, I will be using this blog from now on.